Today I opened up my Blog after months of a Pause. When I posted my last piece titled Pause, I had no idea what that would mean for our family. As I scanned my last post, the first thing I saw was the word Pause, the next thing was the date, March 19, 2019. These two things hold the key to where we have been for the past 4 1/2 months.
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On March 19, 2019 at 5:40, I was watching L’il Man warm up for his baseball game. My 16 yr old was standing close by getting ready for his practice when my phone rang. I don’t remember a lot after that moment other than my husband speaking, me saying What? What? What? and No, No, No. At that point my son came over to me, held my hand and things got blurry.
Have you ever had a major life event happen totally unexpected that will drop you to your knees? March 19th was that day for our family. Our very healthy, she will live past all of us, walk 5 miles 4 days a week, yoga mother / grandmother left this earth. It was so unexpected her doctor called me and was so baffled that he barely spoke. She had just been in his office the day before.
Grieving is a word that can take on so many meanings. It is different for each of us. It can tear us down to bits. Some process loss easily and others just stop. Each experience of loss will take you down a different path. While you may be moving on; others may be standing still. There may be anger, sadness, loneliness, defensiveness. There is no right was to grieve, but grieve you must.
Our family and her friends are still grieving. This was a very hard loss. My MIL had moved from MO 2 1/2 years ago to be close to us after my FIL passed away. She lit up the lives of so many. For weeks her Sunday School Class and her neighbors reached out to me asking for information, but there was nothing.
In the midst of all of this going on, my 16 yr old decided to try out his new mountain bike in our backyard and took a horrible tumble. Yes, add it to the list I’d say as we drove to the ER. Yes, confirmed, your son has broken his collarbone.
Mr Chaos was out of town and I was trying my best to keep things together. It was hard…
So now here we are–August 1, 2019. A new month to bloom, rejoice and be Thankful. Family and friends have reached out to me asking when I will get back to my Blog because they have missed it. Well, today is the day! That bag of Lemons that hit us so hard in the Spring is what we are going to make Lemonade with.
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I have missed Much Loved Chaos! This is our life. So much good stuff happened this summer and I can’t wait to share with you all of the projects and fun times we had.
Thank you for sticking with us! Now go ahead and squeeze those lemons!!
XO,
Susan
